Gay and Lesbian Families

Stephanie Gonzales, MA, MFT

Serving the Gay and Lesbian Community

Long Beach and Surrounding Areas

• Are you feeling frustrated with your teen and do not know what to do anymore?
  

• Do you find your family in constant conflict over the same issues?
  

• Are you concerned that your teen is unable to handle your coming out as a gay/lesbian parent?
  

• Are your partner and children having difficulties developing a positive relationship?
  

• Do you feel overwhelmed and unsupported?
  

• Are you worried about what is happening with your family?
  

• Perhaps you don't have major problems right now, but are concerned about some things that you feel may become problematic in the future
  

The Challenge of Adolescence and the Family

You are not alone; parenting an adolescent is difficult in and of itself.  Most gay and lesbian parents who have adolescents have them from prior heterosexual relationships.  This means that there are very specific issues related to a gay/lesbian parent coming out that may impact the family.  There is no need to blame.  Family therapy is not designed to find someone to blame, but instead to utilize all of the family's strengths to address the problems the family is encountering. 

I have over 10 years of experience working with adolescents and their families and will utilize your strengths as a family to address the family goals of therapy. The following are some issues that can be addressed in family therapy. 

Potential Family Therapy Goals (general):

• improve communication
  

• establish boundaries and roles that are healthy and appropriate for the entire family 
  

• assist in identifying conflicts and anxieties and helping the family develop strategies to resolve them.
  

• improve empathy and understanding
  

• improve ability to deal with and accept differences
  

• improve individual and family problem-solving abilities
  

• strengthen each family member's sense of self so they can work on their problems together
  

• develop new ways to handle conflicts and changes within the family
  

• identify each family member's expectations of each other and determine which are reasonable and realistic
  

• develop family rules that are clearly stated and are evenly applied, yet are flexible and respond to new situations and changes in the family
  

Unique Challenges of the Gay/Lesbian Parent:

• dealing with your adolescent child's fears about being exposed as a child of a gay parent
  

• addressing the change a family goes through once a parent comes out to their adolescent child
  

• processing your child's feelings about your new same sex partner
  

• creating a safe place for all family members to address issues related to being a child of a gay parent or a parent of a gay child
  

• dealing with blended family issues
  

• dealing with homophobic responses of family, friends, school peers, and/or school personnel